Not sure what's going on, but I think reality is setting in. I'm leaving Laurel in 40 days. Wow. That's scary! For the first time in my life, I feel really settled & happy. But, once again I have to uproot myself & go back to Atlanta. There's a part of me that is stoked to be going back to CTS in the fall, but my heart is really here. I've loved every moment here, even the tough ones. I learned so much about myself over these last eight months. I had to do this for myself, to get away from the pressures & frustrations of seminary, and honestly regain my footing after all that happened last spring. I know I was supposed to be here. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
I think reality is hitting in the face...probably doesn't help that I've gotten rejection emails for jobs back in Atlanta for next year. I'm out of options for right now. I'm bummed. I guess I'm getting a taste of the call process I'll be facing in less than a year. I'm still trying to hold onto hope that it will all work out on God's good time, not my own.
It's just hard to think about leaving my life here to go back to one, where everyone has moved on. I don't feel like I'm a part of the CTS community anymore- so much has happened to my friends & to me. It will be a tough transition to make. Another leap of faith.
Not ready to jump...not just yet.