I can't even begin to describe the last few months of my life. And, there are some things I just can't talk about right now. I've been in my call for five months now & it's been a rough five months. There were some very bright times - installation, worship, spending time with people in the community garden, lots of laughter over good food. But, I am struggling with knowing how to work with a church that is struggling too. I love them so much & I want to do everything I can to help them discern what God is calling them to do & be in this world. I cannot imagine myself anywhere else. I really can't.
But, it is hard. Ministry is not easy. I didn't think it would be. But, there are many days when I wish it was a bit easier, not so hard. There is so much to balance & I hope I am not losing myself in the process. I hope the money will come to balance the budget. I hope people won't bail. I hope I won't bail. Hoping for peace, for clarity, for wisdom in discernment.
All I can do is pray. And hope. And trust God will lead me & the church in the right direction.