Sunday, November 20, 2011

giving thanks

I'll be two weeks post-op on Tuesday. Thank goodness they did the surgery on this crazy hip of mine - there was indeed a tear in my hip joint. No wonder I was in so much pain for the last month! I'm doing much better now - figuring out how to negotiate the world on a pair of crutches, which will be my best friend for another 4 weeks; driving is easy; got a stool so I can sit in the kitchen while cooking; & I'm a pretty good driver of those electronic scooter carts at the store (watch out!). My mom's been here with me since the surgery, which is a tremendous blessing. She's been cooking, cleaning, & making sure I am not doing anything I shouldn't be doing...
I was pretty worried that this surgery would not allow me to travel to Ohio this week to be with my family for Thanksgiving. But, I am! Figured out how to pack in a backpack so I don't have to negotiate a rolling suitcase with crutches. And, my mom is on the same flight there with me. I am so thankful to be headed there to celebrate Thanksgiving with my extended family, which we've been doing for the last 30 years.
And, I am very thankful to be going back to work full time on November 28th. It's a great birthday present to be able to go back to a job that I absolutely love & to see my lovely colleagues who I miss so much. I know that I will not be at full speed, but I can do it. I am confident of that:)
Here's to giving thanks. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with those you love & adore.

Saturday, November 05, 2011


To say that life has changed in the past few months would be an understatement. After months of agonizing over a situation that was never going to change no matter how hard I tried, I made the decision to leave the church. I realized I was just making myself sick & not serving myself well. I knew I was well on my way to burnout & I didn't want that for myself, so leaving there was the best option for my own sanity. The blessing was being able to move on to something I that I knew would be healing, challenging & life-giving - I am now serving as a chaplain resident at a great hospital. I'm walking this journey with four amazing colleagues, two fantastic supervisors & a score of other chaplains. So far, it has been a wonderful, challenging, gut-wrenching, and beautiful experience. I am tasked with the clinical assignments of oncology & mental health, which are both hard. Also, I've done one of my three week rotations on our palliative care service, which works with patients & families who are facing end of life decisions. I loved it more than anything, even though it's broken my heart more than a few times. The passion of the team of doctors, chaplains, nurse & social worker makes me thankful & grateful for their presence during the hardest times of life. I look forward to my next rotation with them in December/January.

Other changes include moving from a four bedroom home into a 627 square foot downtown apartment. It's enough space for me. I always felt the house was way more than this gal needed & I love that it doesn't take a whole day to get it clean! I now live within walking distance of the central market, a great coffee shop, yummy restaurants, & a great church where I love simply being a part of the community. It's a good place to be. A healing place.

The next change will come on Tuesday. About a month ago, I suffered a hip injury that has plagued me. After many days on crutches, lots of medications, and a failed cortozone shot, I am having surgery. The hard part is not being able to work for awhile, but I need to get this fixed. I've been in a lot of pain. But, there is no guarantee that this will work, but I am willing to take the chance. The recovery process will be difficult, but my parents are coming to help. Of course, I'm scared of the surgery & the pain afterwards, but I am trying to stay positive. Prayers are certainly welcome.

Hopefully, these changes of life will bring me to a better place - a place of healing, a place of happiness, a place where I will regain my courage & confidence in myself.