Friday, May 25, 2007

Times are changing

Updates on my life:
  • Big news is that I have accepted a full time internship at a church in suburban DC for next year. I start on September 1st and I am really excited! What an amazing church and I think it will be a great fit for me. So, moving....yikes! New adventures....yay!
  • Finished my middler year of seminary. I am officially a senior. Well, a two year senior.
  • My final day at my SM 210 internship church is Sunday. We were honored on Wednesday with cake (see picture) and presents. What a year it's been! I am going to miss the church a lot.
  • My good friend Whit and I took a brief vacation to Savannah this week (Sun-Tues). Amazing city, great food, met Paula Deen's sons Bobby & Jamie (so hot), and spent time with a good friend. Just what I needed!
  • I'm off to Ohio next week (after a brief stop in TN to visit the fam) to begin my chaplaincy internship at Kettering Medical Center for ten weeks. It should be an interesting, exciting, scary experience.

I've got lots going on. I've had to say goodbye too much this week. Friends are all over the place for the summer. But, I think it's going to be a good summer for all of us!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Shifting focus

I had my final class today. After it was over, I felt this huge sense of relief. I realized I will not have to sit inside of a classroom for 15 months! I've never gone longer than 2.5 months without class for my ENTIRE life. I've been in school full-time for the past 24 years, since I was 2. I seriously need a break. A big time break. I feel like I'm starting to lose myself. So much of my life has been defined by being a student, so this is going to be a major shift for me. I also realized tonight that I need to move on for a while. I know that I can come back to this community, even though it will look very different when I return. But, it will still be here. I will miss being here with everyone, but there is something refreshing about venturing out on my own. I've never really lived by myself - I had a single room in college, but I was the RA in the dorm. I lived with someone in grad school. I live here in my own space, but surrounded by my friends. Moving away on my own, without knowing a lot of people, will be amazing. But, I'm scared too. A good kind of scared. I know I'm doing the right thing. This is really all that's on my mind right now- trying to focus on final exams, but honestly, I'm just ready for new adventures. I'm about to take a leap of faith. And...we'll see where I land on the other side.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

As the end draws near

It is the end of the semester here. I have two more classes to attend. Two finals to study for. One paper to write. It really doesn't seem possible that I have completed two full years of seminary. So much has happened over these past two years, both moments of joy and moments of struggle. I wouldn't change it for anything.

I was sitting in a room filled with wise women last night. Women who are all powerful, articulate, beautiful, and flawed. Professors and students. I drew so much strength from being in their presence. It was simply amazing beyond all words. I had another moment today. My final leadership class- I was sitting in another room with these amazing people who I've spent the last four months of my life learning and growing into our visions of what a pastoral leader looks like. Today, we talked about our personal metaphors and images of leadership. There in that room sat: the Eastern Philosopher, the wise sage, the poet, the storyteller, the musicians, the multitasker, the photographer, and the conductor. All the metaphors were different, but had common threads, linking the nine of us together. I've been so blessed to be with them and to learn with and from them.

I am having a hard time accepting the notion that I will not be here this summer. Even more difficult is leaving this place for the entire year, which is quickly becoming a reality. I know it is the best decision for me. I know that I cannot simply sit in the classroom and learn what I need to right now. I feel called to be in a congregational settting full time. I think it will give me the necessary time and space to think, process, discern my ministry and call to serve the church. This semester was not easy- not becoming a candidate like others in this community was so hard. So painful. And, it still is at times. I am learning to see this as a blessing of time- time for serious discernment and just simply space to be in ministry. I've been given this time. I will use it for God's will. However, there are real emotions here. I will leave my classmates and close friends. They are my family. My insides. I will not be here to celebrate in triumph and comfort in struggle with the people who are so important to me. What will my life be like without them? I do know that I take them with me wherever I go in this life. They helped to shape me into the person I am right now, and for that I am eternally grateful.

So, here's to new adventures. And family. Thanks be to God.