I am learning a lot about what it looks like to be a pastor. There are a lot of meetings, phone calls to make (by the way, I really hate the phone!), visits to schedule, bulletins to prepare and proof, sermons to write (currently attempting that), budgets to read and interpret, liturgy to prepare, and then when the network goes down and you cannot retrieve the bulletin for this week, then the stress piles on! (This really did happen this morning and I am happy to note that it is now working, after an hour of running around trying to fix it.)
I am trying to make the adjustment from full time student to full time intern. It's harder than I expected. While I love this church, my job, and what I am doing, there is still a part of me that longs to be in the classroom. I don't know why. I was perfectly happy when I finished my last final in May, knowing that I would be out of the classroom for 15 months. But, I've been in school all my life, since I was 2, and it was a real sense of comfort for me. I knew what to expect- homework, reading, exams, syllibi, spending time at the library, counting down the days until the end of the semester. However, now my days are filled with church business, which is never predictable. I know that it is going to take some time for me to adjust to this new life.
I miss my friends. A lot. Being here, I have to things all by myself. There's no one to grab coffee or a drink with, go to Target with, or have dinner with. And, while it has been nice to do the things I want to, I miss the company of other people. Despite the fact that I am not a big fan of the food, I do miss community meals in the refectory.
However, I still hold onto the thought that the call of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot sustain you. It is true. I will make it through this year. God is with me. Thanks be to God.