It's been quite a while since I wrote here. So much has been going on. First of all, I finished my CPE residency at the hospital a few weeks ago. What an amazing, challenging, frustrating at times, beautiful experience. I learned so much about myself - my strengths, my growing edges, my passion for mentoring interns. Through this process, which can be hard, I learned that I am beautiful & broken, & that's okay. I am enough. I am good enough. That is a huge statement for me, as I've struggled at times in my life with feeling good enough. I had an amazing supervisor who pushed me, loved me & allowed me to cry, laugh, struggle with myself & where I was in my process. I am eternally grateful for her presence in my life.
While I am officially done at the hospital, there is the sticking point of last fall. When I needed to have surgery on my left hip, I needed to be away from the hospital for several weeks. I did not have enough clinical hours to get the full unit for the fall. So, I have to make up a 1/2 unit of CPE to get the full units needed to be certified. My amazing supervisor took a job at another hospital two weeks ago & offered a spot in their program to get the hours I need to get the 1/2 unit. Did I mention that she is awesome? And, there is a possiblity for more permanent work there, so we shall see.
But, there is something else that happened this summer. Back in January, I began to have some trouble with my right hip. Same pain as I had in the left hip during the fall. After months & months of pain & trouble, it was decided that I needed to have surgery on my right hip. I had the surgery on August 2nd. Right now, I am in my third week of recovery & spending time off my leg. This means that I cannot work right now & won't be cleared to begin working for another month or so. I am trying hard to just stay calm about all the stress this places on me, on my finances, on my sanity. But, I am remaining thankful for the great medical care I have received; for my parents who were here for the last several weeks helping me; for my friends who have offered prayers & encouragement; for God's presence with me even in the shadows of pain & recovery.
I am in a space of discernment of where God is calling me next. I know where my passion is - chaplaincy & working with students. Maybe I want to be a staff chaplain at a hospital & go with the board certification route. Or maybe pursue CPE supervisory training. I've gotten lots of support for the latter choice. I'm not sure what I am going to do. Only time will tell. Prayers are always welcome & much appreciated.
